thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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