She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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