oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
