I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
