You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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