I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
