so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
