Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
