Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize