Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
