i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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