then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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