I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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