"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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