i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
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Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
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He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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