I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
