you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
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My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
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Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I have post one night stand depression
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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