And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i believe in u and ur pee
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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