How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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