I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
