She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
