3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think my vagina is haunted
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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