Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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