just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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