quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
