The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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