I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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