just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How does one acquire holy water?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize