yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
