the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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