im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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