Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
