don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dear god my vagina.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
