I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
