Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
