hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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