If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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