sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
