In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize