She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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