New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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