My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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