yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
