I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
