No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
