To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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