your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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