I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Oh god it's open bar.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
