who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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