College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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