There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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