your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
