Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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