dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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