If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
