seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
