Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
