She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
