i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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