I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
