apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
