She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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