I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
